Learning to be a quieter person was difficult for me. When I was young I was extremely social and I based a lot of my self-worth on my ability to be fun, the reactions I got from the people around me, and how cool I believed other people believed me to be.
Over time, as some of those friendships faded and I started to look at my interactions more closely, I realized that when I spoke my words didn’t carry the weight that I wanted them to.
Despite being a social butterfly, I was a thinker and I believed that what I had to say had value, I wanted others to recieve that value as fully as they could and I realized I was cheapening my own words with my constant attempts to be the entertainer of the group.
I also wasn’t being true to myself.
Now, I’m much more serious in my day to day behaviour. But when I laugh, I mean it. And when I shout it’s because I want to and when I smile I can feel it on the inside.
I’m much more serious than I used to be. But I’m more carefree than I’ve ever been.