If you’re having a moment with someone and that other person is feeling fear and you want to help them work through it. Don’t try to lessen their fears by making yourself appear weaker. Accept their fear and provide them with strength.
Making yourself small is not the answer.
It’s easy to assume that when someone is afraid you should reduce the number of visibly dangerous things around them. And you as a fellow human are probably the most dangerous thing in the room. But you’re also on that person’s team. And when we feel afraid, we want to know that the people around us are strong enough to handle whatever may come our way including ourselves if we lose control.
So accept the other person’s fears completely. Embrace them as they are. Don’t invalidate them. But let your own emotions of confidence and comfort with the situation be visible and recognized by the person you’re with. And give them an opportunity to mirror that strength.
Sometimes the way through fear is through understanding that the person you’re with is dangerous enough to handle you at your most fearful.
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