This is one of the most important ideas I know. It’s deep. It’s complicated. And it’s the very lens through which I see the world. It’s how I define results, discipline myself, and create systems and strategies in my life and business.
Benevolent Order Enables Positive Chaos
I will debate governmental systems with friends of extremely diverging belief systems.
Whether they are anarchist or totalitarian, we will always agree on one sentence.
We need some form of control. But how much? In what way? And who should do the controlling?
We can agree on the first part but struggle with the second.
I will debate artistic creation with my art friends, and we will all agree.
Expression needs form. But how much form? And what should that form look like?
In discussions about relationships, everyone agrees on the first sentence and is confused about the second.
Someone must lead, and there must be boundaries and limits on the relationship. But who should lead, when, and what should the boundaries and limits be?
In business…
You must niche. But does that limit your creativity? Because you definitely can’t be boring or be so limited that you solve no one’s problem. And also, you need to be willing to “try anything” to succeed, and how does that make any sense in combination with establishing a niche and limiting what you do? Doesn’t it create a paradox?
You must have laws. But too many laws destroy the economy.
You must have rules to play a game. But too many rules, or the wrong ones, turns it into “not a game.”
You must have harnesses/seat belts on the rollercoaster and a speed limit. But if it goes too slow and you’re too boxed in, it becomes something that isn’t a rollercoaster.
All of these things I described are manifestations of order that are necessary but confusing, and often make life less fun. Laws, rules, agreements, forms, structures, principles, etc.
But the answer can’t be to get rid of order.
Because without order, society falls apart, the rollercoaster goes off the rails, the relationship becomes a cancerous hell, the art gets stupid and unrelatable, and the business never gets off the ground because there’s no focus.
Everywhere, there is a necessity for order. But when order is applied the wrong way or it becomes too oppressive, everything breaks.
The list could go on forever; here are some classics:
- Diet – You need restrictions. But if it’s too strict, you won’t do it.
- Exercise – You need a plan. But if you stick to the plan at the wrong time, you’ll get injured.
- Budgeting – You have to manage your finances. But if you don’t budget in a way that meshes with your personality you’ll rebel and overspend just to make a point to yourself.
You can’t live without order. But if you put it in the wrong place or give yourself the wrong dose, your life will be miserable. You will decide everything sucks, stage a revolution, and try to start again with a clean slate, telling yourself, “I can do better next time.”
(Also, yes, that’s how real political revolutions work too.)
But the question we always come back to, no matter how many times we start over, is, “How do I order things?”
It doesn’t matter if it’s a political revolution, a relationship, or a personal goal.
We know we have to put things in order. We try it, we hate it, we break it, and we start over.
This is, in some form, almost every negative cycle in history and in your life.
I believe it’s because we have the wrong overarching goal.
Your ability to set things in order is fine. But if you’re doing it for the wrong outcome, it won’t go well.
The problem is seeking order for the sake of order.
I believe the answer to “how should you order things?” Is “in such a way that more desirable chaotic outcomes occur.”
Let me explain.
Most people set fixed goals to achieve fixed outcomes.
“I want to: get fit, make x amount of money, have this type of relationship, achieve a national unemployment rate of this, an inflation rate of that, a work of art that expresses this.”
These are all targets.
And targets, interestingly, are fixed, orderly outcomes.
People decide they want specific things, and then do specific things to get them.
Aka, set goals and apply discipline. Sounds reasonable. And, technically, it’s absolute reason.
But we forget that we aim at targets, not for the target itself, but because we believe hitting the target will make our lives better. The target itself isn’t your life.
A target
is a thing that,
you hope,
if you hit it (or aim toward it),
your life could be impacted in some positive way
by the emotional/mental/physical/spiritual experience of doing so
or the side or after-effects of doing so.
As adults, we have to aim at targets to survive. It’s essential. You have to take down the antelope or get the paycheck, or you’ll starve.
So… you were once a child, and your life was a chaotic adventure through a wild and beautiful universe. Then you grew up, learned about discipline, and realized you “wanted this thing,” so you decided to “do this thing” until you got it, and then your life would be better.
And now you don’t know why you’re unhappy and lacking in motivation?
Well, let’s try this question. What makes life better?
Freedom, responsibility, purpose, meaning, adventure, connection, wonder, awe… those things?
That leads to a new, more personal question.
Didn’t you want to get rich because then you’d be able to experience more chaotic stuff?
When you were poor, chaos sucked. Because chaos was your tire going flat on a day you couldn’t afford to miss a job interview, and then you had to go home to a messy apartment and combine leftovers in an unpleasant way to survive. But you didn’t dream about all that stuff ending. You dreamed about a sense of security that enabled you to go on a vacation, have a relationship, and focus on projects that you thought were important.
Didn’t you want to get fit so you’d have more fun in bed or while going on adventures?
Get more organized so you could create more art?
Get less anxious, so you could go to more social events?
Get whatever, so you could get more magical whatever?
Oh yeah, you wanted to get orderly so that you could experience more chaos.
Many people work hard and are super responsible and get no happiness out of it. Their lives don’t get better.
Because most people pick orderly targets and then do orderly things to get to their orderly targets, then feel sad and give up, or get there and feel unfulfilled.
Because they know they need order to make their lives livable. And they know they need it to succeed. So, in standard religious fashion, they demonize the thing they’re trying not to be (in this case, chaotic) and forget that the whole reason they were getting their life together was so they could have more of it in a positive way.
The whole reason a governmental order organizes is so a society can flourish. What is flourish? Lots of babies, art, innovation, abundance, and growth… chaos.
But most governments elect people who have the job of creating and enforcing laws, and then everyone begins to believe that the laws themselves are the point. The laws aren’t the point. They’re the protector, the enforcer, the enabler, and the catalyst.
A healthy government has laws that make more people feel able to do more cool stuff.
A good economic system is one that inspires constant innovation.
A relationship with boundaries and rules (dare I say obligations?) maintains a connection that allows the partners to play more within the bounds of that connection.
A person living with healthy stability isn’t stuck in one place. They’re stable enough to experience growth, insight, and adventure.
Positive chaos.
I believe a lot of people suffer because they try to establish order just to get more order, which is pointless, and makes people miserable.
I believe people suffer because they learn that order is necessary and then start to believe that order is good and chaos is bad, let order take over, become miserable, then change their minds to think chaos is good and order is bad, break their order, become miserable, and start all over again.
And I believe the solution is to start thinking in terms of measuring orderly actions according to their chaotic results, and chaotic actions according to their orderly results.
And how would you create a metric for that? Because if you’re trying to get your life, society, or relationship to thrive, you don’t want just any chaotic or orderly result. You want a positive one.
I believe the metric you create is “the input from this one results in a positive output from the other one.”
So…
Benevolent order enables positive chaos.
In other words, if you take an orderly action and more fun, beautiful, delightful, surprising, and creative chaotic things happen, then you did good.
–
(You can also approach it from the other direction. Caring chaos inspires adventurous order. But I’m focusing on order so that this essay doesn’t become a book.)
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If you set a rule for yourself and life becomes more interesting, then it’s a good rule.
I believe this is a fundamental concept that should be taught regarding governments, economies, business, relationships, art, sex, religion, animal husbandry, personal growth, and more. I don’t know a subject that involves humans interacting with the universe where it doesn’t apply.
If you write a law and it creates an environment where more people are doing business, it’s a good law.
If you limit the product line of your business so that you have more chances to iterate, it’s a good niche.
If you limit your diet so that the food you eat becomes a palette to experiment with or another facet of your life becomes more interesting and fulfilled (for example, you have more energy), then you have a good diet.
If you decide to only paint with acrylics, watercolor, or only paint nature scenes, faces, caterpillars, or always balance the painting by having three items of interest within the image, and it makes you more expressive, then that is a good artistic limitation.
The reason we get angry at rules, goals, and orderly things is this: When we apply order inappropriately, we become less.
But when we apply order wisely, we become more. We become more filled, abundant, and creative.
And I believe that should be the thing we take into account when we make decisions.
I believe this lens can help you navigate the world with more clarity.
“Will this rule, discipline, or limit that I set for myself create a more abundant, meaningful, or exciting life? If so, then it’s a good one.”
Rules aren’t supposed to be oppressive, disabling, or harmful.
They’re supposed to make you feel safe and brave at the same time.
They’re supposed to be a structure that stabilizes you and inspires you to new heights of wonder and beauty.
And when you remember the phrase… Benevolent order enables positive chaos.
You can use it as a guide for the decisions in your life.
There is so much more I could say on this topic.
I believe it’s one of the most important ideas on earth, especially at this time in history, where most of the globe has been searching for freedom since about a hundred years before the forming of the United States. We’ve gotten very free. And a pendulum swing of people calling for controlling order is occurring. While simultaneously, we’re going through a technological revolution where we’re trying to solve problems with absolute, unbreakable, mathematical data and code. And there are people on the pathological fringes of both calling out for absolutism.
On a personal, relational, and societal level, this concept matters.
Benevolent order enables positive chaos.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
And if you know it, you can start to be conscious about your decisions.
Not to pointlessly chase goals and outcomes because your “supposed to,” and establishing order and success in your life while feeling empty and meaningless. But to go after life and set rules and disciplines that create laughter, exploration, experimentation, and abundance.
Because that’s why we’re here.
That, and to experience the cosmic beauty of the universe or something…
If you are interested in private coaching, click here.
Best,
Josh Terry