ACCEPTING DISCOMFORT

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You have to accept that you might hurt people. Not because you want to. Not because you should. But because, in the process of living your life, you must make decisions. And decisions often have unpredictable collateral damages that hurt people.

And living in fear of that damage is paralyzing. It stops you from doing what’s right. It stops you from trying to help. And it stops you from taking risks.

For example, every time you have a conversation with someone, if you want to truly communicate your thoughts and feelings, you have to run the risk of insulting them. Otherwise you’ll spend the whole time trying not to.

Spending all of your time worrying about how someone else might take what you say isn’t communicating, that’s living in fear of causing offense.

It’s important to try to communicate positive intention. But much like you have to be willing to mess up at a skill to excel at it, you have to be willing for your words to be misunderstood in order to become a good communicator.

If you accept that in your conversations there will be discomfort, and you accept that’s part of the experience of life, then you can take a risk and say what’s on your mind.

If you accept that you might mess up and hurt someone then you can let go and focus on loving someone.


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